I was putting my army stuff away when it struck me. Numerous items that I was packing away formed memories of the last 2 years of my life. It was a bittersweet period, something which I'm not too sure I will exchange for the world. I learnt stuff about myself and stuff about life and dealing with others I'm sure I wouldn't learn so well or so fast elsewhere. It was an eye-opening period, something which gave me added width to my personal experiences. It was fascinating, exciting, engaging and above all, memorable. It will always have a place in my heart, a memory I will revisit from time to time as it gets more and more distant with each passing day.
It was only when I was pouring through all my stuff that I realized that I have tonnes of stuff in camp. I encountered upon stuff which brought back vivid memories, of happy times spent in camp with friends and terrible times of enduring stuff. I realized many a thing as well, stuff that I hope I will remember for the rest of my life, as unlikely as that wish will be.
Sometimes, I amaze myself when I realize that some part of me actually missed the army life and found the 2 years so fleeting, so short. Of course, with hindsight its so fast. It wasn't that fast the other way round though, come to think of it. That being said, its strange...at first I can't wait for my ORD date to come, then I got sentimental about it when the Nov guys left, and then I got really keen about ORDing, and then now I'm getting all pensive about it all over again. Its hard to put in words the experiences you will go through, the comraderie we shared and the bonding we had. I guessed only those who went through it together will know what its like truly, hence the bonding we all share from our NS times. Its stuff like this that makes me hesitate to downPES. The common bond we all share will be very reluctantly forgone.
Some people I got along with and had a great time with, and maybe those that I didn't really hit it off with and consequently didn't have such a great time with. I don't usually bear anyone any malice and this is the same now. Maybe we didn't get along or anything, but as long as we can work together, that's good enough for me. I need not be your friend for us to cooperate on a common goal and the more people can realize that, the better the world will be. Stuff happens, get over it. You might be screwed up, and I bet you might think the same of me, but whatever it is, its over and justifications aside, I do not hold anything against you. I will miss all of you all the same I guess.
I might not have said this to anyone in particular, or at most in passing, but my real childhood dream (after the short obsession with heavy plant equipments ^^) was to be a pilot. Not for any of the cliche stuff, or maybe just 1. The fact that I could soar in the air, in freedom with everything on a fine line with me in control. Obviously, stuff happened to make my childhood dream almost untenable, but watching Macross Frontier made me remember all of it again. Hmmm....
Question to no one in particular: If Singapore is under attack, will you enlist as part of the voluntary army? I know I will, despite everything I can say for the reverse. Its just something I feel I should do, and will do if need be. Not that it will be of much use I guess, but that's better than nothing I reckon.
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